Tuesday, May 23, 2006
THE STORY OF AI WU
first: the story of erhu
starting this with, yesterday morning, and the troubles bad men and i get myself into.TV head sister, who will not be given the blame for it is I who find it impossible to leave the house, put
on the TV while I was reading a book and dribbling shredded wheat down my chin.
A man screams through the television as he hears me read, he has a certainly abrupt over reaction to the
young woman sitting in the kitchen talking about God, this 'devil man' begins a shouted lie, that he hears
this young woman claiming she is calling her self Arthur, perhaps she was really thinking about Italian Art
and how she may paint some good art. Sits there with a broken beaten face, and then hears second wife, tell
her/him with much joy she has ordered this man dead. And how? I merely call him a prat, she gets into the
brain of another young man and he has a breakdown over what this devil man has done. She finds this
hilarious, yet Adel and I are rather annoyed, so in the midst of our breakdowns I ask Erhu to talk to
I speak to her last night, and she says Erhu has sauntered into the room telling her she has ordered a man
dead. This is after I leave a public announcement that Adel is dying, of course we talk and we joke about
an island in London I call Paddywaters, an island that actually exists in the middle of London where
Artists live and ducks play in the waters, there is a pontiac bridge, turning into a giant half submerged
spindle which constantly tunrs towards the island, a man can walk across it and without falling jump to
shore, yet, as he does keep falling he suddenly gets run over by the barges that sail through, then, he
meets two women and buries his head in the sand, eventually walking towards a house to take tea with an
artist in a blue smock. The island is actually called Pie bald, no, pie island...
Two nights previously, Adel is annoyed, i am lying in bed, she says the dog lying like a fat cat on the bed
pointing out the devils that drive by the house, a calming game, that this 'little man whom she calls Frig,
won't leave her alone...this gives me a nightmare I can handle, and I try to push him off the bed yet he
snores and will not rll off the bed, as every time I wake him in this way he is in a daze...
I move to the other bed, I look at the dog in a numb horror but am laughing and saying I will never be able
to look at this poor dog again, in fact I do not want to break his little heart...
Two nights previously I learn who that older man was that I spoke to nearly four years ago...the man whom I
believed lived somewhere in this world, a man who could get me out of the 'evil' situation I was in at the
time in a house, talking as another man lies next to me sleeping, crying, in deep pain and misery for many
nights, and hearing a sorrowful reply from a man I believed I have called without realising this is prayer.
As I lay in bed holding Erhu's hand, I ask her who this man was, she tells me he is Jesus, yet he uses his nickname.
Now, i am caught in this revelation with much wonder love and joy...he talks to me using the dog that will not crawl off the bed as a telephone, yes all the why can't you appear to face me in the room questions, and how i feel calm love which i haven't felt for some time, (this begins an arguement as I dwell on this fact with Erhu, she tells me I talk to Him too lover, now remember i was an eighteen year old girl) we talk, he tells me he can speak to me, as I talk to Him 'grown' and remembers when I prayed for everyone to grow, rather a chant, I read the Koran well, happily, relaxed, clean,
there is too much mention of Mohammed and they forget His name and he is weeping...I will never meet him until I begin a real life of good christianity, yet today I have broken down and cried, and this is what hurts us...He tells me to 'overthrow the devil'...and other words, and I cry quietly, I don't know how long we talk to each other, he mentions a Paul, yet I'm not quite sure which Paul he means...He knows they claim we are both too hippy...we talk about a friend who is saving her money to come on holiday with me, then I hear 'out of dog' and believe he has just clicked his fingers to leave Jumble! (just jumble no one else, He says) yet Erhu tells me He had used his mind...I cannot forget talking about what happened yet I dwell on it
Last night, THE MANDARIN
I am told to kiss Erhu as I hear her crying,
we do, and see white light, yet I am hollering Mendelsohn, I don't know why, to be silly, and people in planes can hear me...
THEN, she makes the sign of the cross over her face, and tells me:
'It is a sin to look.'
And turns into a red eyed lion that leaps and slashes my face, (left hand druggies breaking through, A MAN ON A PILL DRIVING PAST AT THAT VERY MOMENT)...
I walk down stares and eat cornflakes, no fear...apart from perhaps being a scarface...
I cry today...FOR OTHER REASONS...
AI WU: i FEEL MY MIND PUSH BACK, FLOW THROUGH A PATH, AND I HEAR MYSELF TALK IN CHINESE, MANDARIN...I SOUND LIKE A MAN AND I SEE A CHINESE GIRL HOLD HER HANDS TOGETHER, I WORRY IF SHE IS COMMUNIST CHINA, HER NAME IS AI WU, I SAY I AM DEAD, TODAY HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO ME THAT SHE IS IN HONG KONG, AND RELATED TO ME THROUGH 400 YEARS OLD BLOOD, PERHAPS IN THE CHINESE TRADITION SHE BELIEVES SHE IS HEARING A GHOST, A DEAD EMPEROR, YET ERHU (WHICH IS A CHINESE SAD MELANCHOLY INSTRUMENT YET NOT HER REAL NAME, BEING HEBREW) COMES BACK TO HER AND TELLS HER I AM NOT DEAD I AM A WOMAN IN ENGLAND THAT 'WHITE MEN WERE BEING DEVILS' AND AS SHE IS ONLY A YOUNG GIRL, TO 'BE GOOD'...FINE...AND I KNOW THAT A CERTAIN MAN HAS BEING SAYING THAT MY BLOOD IS MANDARIN DOG...
KANDINSKY CONVERSATIONS: IT IS BEST TO HAVE A CONVERSATION IN COLOURS, PINK SQUARES TO THE RIGHT, A FLASH OF GREEN ACROSS THE LEFT,
AND I HAVE SEEN MYSELF IN A STUDIO PAINTING THE MEMORY OF ADEL'S FACE AT THE WEDDING, AS A MAN WALKS IN, AND THEN I AM OUT THROUGH FRENCH WINDOWS, INTO A MEADOW WHERE THE SUN SHINES, AND SHE WALKS UP TO MEAND SITS DOWN, AND I SEE MY SON AND TALK, AND TICKLE HIM...
AND THEN: I GO TO SLEEP....
I cannot forget talking about what happened yet I dwell on it
3 years ago