Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Streams Of Tears and Consciousness

I didn't pray, you know why? In this underground Zion, like in Leicester Square, a man offering tickets said: 'Bacon.' yes, mister, I had been eating bacon consecutively that time for the last few days, a neccessity of needing to eat perhaps you could smell it on me, as I had fried some for my brother before I went out that night, I was deeply annoyed at all the madness around me, so walked off and picked out Ham and Mushroom pizza.

In this Underground Zion, a middle-aged woman dressed in a headcovering, wearing glasses, whispers to my friend outside the pizza shop as I stand there, not even talking to friend as she is even about to flirt with the man behind the counter, a whole catalogue of happy flirting, fine, I'm just not taking part in it...I listen half attentively, thinking, 'why are you not talking to me? when I know you actually are talking to me, and you have made my young friend believe you are insane, and NO, we are not lovers.' I chew on my pizza like an overgrown perturbed and numb young man, and listen:

Something about, how...I have too much attitude...I catch the last words in the sentence, but she is looking down and whispering, friend says little apart from perhaps that's nice, and we carry on on our way, and I do not grab old woman and scream for explanation in her face...

I think perhaps she means not enough attitude...

I have many aspects to worry about, these 'flesh and blood' they are the demons, (see post below) brought up on their own animal instincts, their 'man' views of lesbianism or any other paranicac, a new word, a paranicac attitude of opinion and confusion and hate, or rather sensitive emotion which whenever written down and read out loud is percieved as lesbianism...one has to make a distinction here, there seems to be a monsoon outside...it is getting very dark...perhaps I should not write this perhaps I have so much to say it is best, to 'remain Buddhist,' and keep quiet...

The influx of the cosmos, my job is too remain calm, consider each word of mine, but in my misery I see things are not all well even on one little trip to the newsagent...

I have given my phone number to a Sikh, he does not carry a dagger, and acts rather strangely, I tell him whilst he stands behind the counter taking down my number, having offered to take me out to the Sacred Heart, a temple I believe in this locality...not to call me for a week, the other men in the shop are standing in another aisle, whispering something about, madness...etc...he tells them:

'God has been shattered.' and breaks out of any worry I had of his animalistic attitude.

There is little much I can say here...

Toader:, (I have promised to call my Australian girl when the weather in my mind breaks through, to meet for a coffee, I have already told her how I have visions, but worry it will be hard to meet up with her, I had called her late one night at the weekend, after the stress of the pub night, with tears in my eyes, she seemed quite calm, and just said: 'Call me tomorrow', I liked the way she said that, it was grown and reassuring, I did not call her, my mistake, but a text and an explanation and then another call sober, at the weekend) Toader: a spade that is used to squash cane toads...'you have given me back my Toader!!!!!!!!' WE SHALL SQUASH THE CANE TOADS WITH OUR ART/HEART!!!!

I am not freaking out so much now, mentally, physically...I think my friend's prayer worked...I still need to think and write back to her...

perhaps I can not write to you, that being in the presence of God and hearing his words has affected us all into a state of soul war,

I read the following sentences to Elías Contreras, which he himself had written:

"Resistance is averting the fate which is being imposed from above, at just the right time, exerting the necessary force and thus destroying that disaster and those who are contriving it for us."

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I STOLE SOME M&M PEANUTS!!!!!!!!!

YES HILARIOUS!!

I WAS UPSET, I 'GLASGOW-KISSED' THE CHOCOLATE SECTION WHILST WAITING IN A QUEUE BEHIND A VERY POLITE MAN AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT 'WHAT SPORT ARE YOU WATCHING ON T.V?' ENGLAND???' AS I WAS CONTEMPLATING BUYING M&M'S I THOUGHT, 'OH, ARE ENGLAND PLAYING A FOOTIE MATCH??' AND WAS GOING TO ENQUIRE...BECAUSE THE ONLY FOOTBALL TEAM I SUPPORT IS ENGLAND (AND CELTIC WHEN THEY ARE PLAYING, AND SCOTLAND TOO, AND SOMETIME AGO CHILE BECAUSE OF THE HIGH SKILL OF THE PLAYERS, AND DURING THE WORLD CUP I WOULD SUPPORT THOSE GOOD-LOOKING (OF THE MAJORITY) TEAMS, SOUTH AMERICAN TEAMS ARE VERY SKILLED PLAYERS...BUT MISTAKENLY WALKED OUT AFTER PAYING FOR CIGARETTES, WITH A PACKET OF M&M'S IN MY HAND, WHICH WAS IN MY POCKET...

WONDERFUL

WILL PAY BACK PRICE OF M&M'S NEXT TIME I GO TO THAT SHOP, UNDERSTANDING GENTLEMAN SIR...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Going Back

How many Galaxies are there on this planet?

And who can answer this serious space between us?

This blog has been a lie...if I were to write the space between us...I am afraid everything would fall down and apart...

if I were to write the space between us and find the ones who have been through this experience I would know they are too poor to tell me everything...this galaxy, and four hundred others, and human forms... a galaxy of giants...a galxy wherein everything you say in one lifetime creates your own reality...

for example, were you to tell your children there were ghosts in this house...then they themselves would become echoes like ghosts, as I wander around to make some breakfast, I hear the echo my brother has left behind from talking to friends and his door is always closed, so I believe he is still there, then wander the empty house and find no-one...

What if, in the space between us, you had once had a memory that your family had been replaced by another family, call them aliens, in the space between us...

Myths know more of reality, than this plastic future does...Myths can be wrong unless you experience spaces in portals between us yourself...

My self is not this self...my self is:

My self knows more than the space between us...
My self is walking in a different uniform and a different body...
And if I were to write the space between us, my ego could make it stronger...and lead me away from standing in queues...

I wonder how you live in that other space,